I have always been as good at putting things off as most, and better at it than many. Sometimes it was things that I dreaded and just didn’t want to do. I think everyone has those and will have to find a way to make a list of these and just work until they are crossed off. The type of procrastination that I am talking about is different, and probably makes less sense. It is putting off the things that you really want to do and enjoy simply because you feel there will always be time to do them later. My experience with cancer has shown me that this type of thinking can be a trap. Hopefully not, but we are not guaranteed a long life of perpetual ability and/or capability. Life moves quickly and the means, resources, and time to put regular life on hold to accomplish the things that build our foundation fades into the rearview mirror. Soon we look into that mirror only to realize that the opportunities to give our life definition, failed to define us because we didn’t give them the fuel to move us from a place of comfort to a life changing unknown. I think there are two types of dreams that this boils down to. One has many subsets to it. That one is the “Wants”. The Wants are dreams that are fun. They are the type that you sit in a room and someone begs you to tell the story of “when you did…” To me, these are like skydiving, or swimming with dolphins, or backpacking through Europe. All noble adventures that add the garnishments and spice of who you are. They provide the stories, give the colors, and put the gravy on the meat and potatoes. The 2nd type is the meat and potatoes. They don’t spice the meal, they are the meal. They don’t color the painting, they are the canvas. These are the dreams that I want to talk about. These are so individual that everyone’s are different. One of mine is on a ship on the ocean. Sounds common, right? Only it is not to be on the ocean on a ship. It is the feeling of peace and serenity of slowly rising and falling with the tide. Of feeling a light breeze on my face and the faint smell of salt water in my nose. It is the feeling of complete removal of any concern, doubt, or worry in my soul. In it’s place is the perfect alignment of creation and my essence breathing a sigh of contentment. That centers me and feeds my soul. That feeling doesn’t give me a story to tell. It gives me strength and power to know my creator and to fulfill the promise of who I am to be.
Some dreams are identifiable, like that one. Others are not a singular experience, but a goal to build a pattern of living that reflects light to others that you care about. One example is to take not only the time to be involved with your family, but to take your time to be with your family. Your best time. To dedicate your love and attention to be present with them. Not to ask, “Am I having fun”, but to ask, “Am I making sure that they are having fun”. When our focus is on the service of someone else, our priorities change. What we thought we wanted, or even needed, changes. We become a pathway that real magic uses to truly transform. It is easier to attach conditions and rules to something. That is because you can give it, but never really lose complete control over it. It takes a great deal of humility to give this way because you do not get to dictate how it is received or perceived. You just leave it alone, and let nature decide. Even though this is the hardest and scariest way to love someone, if you can allow yourself to truly love someone unconditionally, you are promised to feel love in return. If it is unconditional, their response is irrelevant. The Spirit of our Lord will reward you with unconditional love in return. I know it seems that I drifted off track from procrastination of true dreams, but I didn’t. The important dreams to follow through on are the one’s that make you feel God’s unconditional love in your heart for Him and for Others. This book does that for me.
I love both of you. Unconditionally. Forever. Eternally. Completely.